First Person Schruter
by Snaps P. Daffren
Summary: Dwight discovers first person shooters. Jim plays a cruel cruel prank. Ignore the genre
1. Chapter 1

**(The only thing that should be credited to me is the plot. The characters and games aren't mine. Don't sue me. I have nothing.)**

Dwight Schrute was a man of business with hobbies that occupy any extra time he has.

"I am a very hard worker."

Though one day he found himself trapped at a party with Michael Scott. "Trapped" is not the usual word of choice for Dwight K. Schrute when it comes to being with Michael Scott for long hours in close quarters, but there was no way he could get out of the Dunder-Miflin Scranton Family Lock-in. Still broken up with Angela, Andy preoccupied with Angela, and Michael preoccupied with everyone else's business, Dwight found himself discovering the wonderful world of first person shooters. It was all thanks to Meredith's son, who had brought his Xbox 360 and hooked it up to the internet without permission. Dwight K. Schrute? Playing a first person shooter? And online?

He loved it. The ability to control others and not have to look at them. He bought his own console, games, and account as soon as the lock in was over (mind you he did have to wait until 10 AM for the store to open). When he later found out that there were FPS' avaliable for his PC, he brought it to work.

"Watcha got there, Dwight?" inquired Jim, who had played Call of Duty when he was working at the Stamford branch with Andy and Karen.

"Nothing that you would be able to handle. People dying, being killed, right in front of your eyes. You can hear their screams echo across the world..."

"Oh, I see. What is that? Half-Life? Halo? Oh no. Please tell me it's not Call of Duty."

"None of your business. It's very important to my work," Dwight said in a huff and put on his head set. He set up the game as Jim stood up and hopped over to Pam.

"I'm got the greatest prank, but I need you do do something for me."

"Shoot."

"You have to get Dwight's gamertag."

"What? How am I supposed to do that? You won't even let me touch your Zbox.

"Xbox. It's easy, just make somethin--"

"Why not just ask Andy?" Pam cut Jim off and pointed to Andy, who was playing the same game as Dwight.

Jim smirked as a silly plot hatched in his mind.

"Hey. You see how Dwight is probably the only one in the office without a relationship?"

Andy threw up his hands as soft explosions were heard from his computer. "Aw, come on!" he said in disbelief. Then he turned his attention towards Jim. "Yeah, I thought that's a little weird, you know." He leaned back and raised his hands behind his head to rest it there. "I don't know what kind of guy wouldn't like a piece of that."

Jim pursed his lips and looked up, slightly furrowing his eyebrows he said, "Tsk...yeah, Dwight's not gay."

"No way! Wow. Then that's really a mystery. He's so knowledgeable about women, he's given me so much advice with Angela. I haven't gotten down with her yet, but I'm workin' on it, you know?"

"No...I don't, Andy, but I know this very lovely lady who tells me she's looking for a guy just like Dwight, but she lives in Ohio."

"Oooh, bummer, for both of them. Is she hot?"

"Sure. She plays a lot of Xbox Live. I was wondering if you could give me his gamertag so I can pass it along to her?"

"Well, usually I'm not into giving away that kind of personal information, but for matters of the heart, I think I can do it." Andy leaned forward, grabbed a stickynote and scribbled down Dwight's gamertag. "Here you go, Tunafish!" Andy smiled and handed Jim the stickynote.

Jim flashed the pale yellow paper at Pam and smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

As Andy and Angela seemed to be getting closer, Dwight became closer with his Xbox, although he did make sure everything on the beet farm was well before getting into a mission. He developed a team, and was determined to make them invincible.

Dwight would play on his own when he teammates were in class or doing homework. It was finals week when Dwight played alone, and if anyone snuck away from their studies to play, Dwight could hear angry mothers in the background followed by, "Crap, gotta go."

After killing one specific player ten times in a row, Dwight shouted out to the user.

"What's wrong with you? This isn't fun for either of us."

A high pitched voice answered back, "Sorry, I play a lot but I'm so terrible…"

Dwight looked closer at the gamertag. "BeetGurl347," Dwight read it out loud.

"Yeah, I love beets. The root, not so much the musical kind."

Dwight let a smile creep over his face, but wasn't going to let one or two common interests make him swoon.

"I actually own and maintain a beet farm, and it's also a bed and breakfast."

"Oh wow! It must be nice. Where did you find time to get so good at this game?"

"I organize my time on a very tight schedule."

Jim, was having trouble keeping his girly voice convincing, but Dwight didn't seem to notice anything odd. He hoped he didn't jump into it too fast by saying "I love beets," but the account name _is_ BeetGurl.

Dwight was busying his mind with all sorts of thoughts. He'd never heard anyone, and especially never any woman, say that they love beets. He'd heard, "I don't love beets," "Who could love beets?" and "Beets and love are two completely different things, Dwight." As he thought this, BeetGurl347 was killed again. When 'she' regenerated, Dwight had a proposition for her.

"You have absolutely no strategy, do you?"

"What? I guess not." Jim was slightly insulted, for he wasn't playing so horribly on purpose.

"You show great promise. Shall I take you under my wing as my apprentice?"

"Okay!" Jim tried to sound as bubbly and excited as Kelly after Ryan was moved to the desk behind hers.

"So many things to teach you. Where to begin?" Dwight shook his head as if the other player could see him. "Let's start with your weapon of choice..."

Perhaps Dwight had told a white lie about Jim's "promise", and just wanted to see if BeetGurl347 was more than just a lover of beets.


End file.
